goodbye, grandma


the date grandma was born was the fourth of july. the year, however, remains a disputed fact, although i’m quite sure it was 1921, since she was born in the year of the rooster, just like me. we share other things too, like our common love for sweet things and afternoon naps.

yesterday, after waking her from her nap, i talked to her for the last time before she passed away hours later. she couldn’t talk very much, but nodded as enthusiastically as she could and smiled her unforgettable smile when she could tell we were around. for someone who’s lived with me all my life, i’m ashamed to say she probably knew me more than i knew her, and i’m sad that it had to take this illness for us to grow closer. but it was never too late, and in this short life there’s no space for regrets. i cherish every conversation we’ve ever had, especially the last few we shared through these past weeks.

grandma, it breaks my heart every time i think about the state were you in, tubes and all, and how thin you had become in just a matter of weeks and months. and i can’t believe how your hands, once ever so warm, now lie cold and lifeless.

but i feel alright when you smile.

mp3: galaxie 500 – fourth of july


7 responses to “goodbye, grandma

  1. *HUGS* It was v painful for me when my grandpa died too. He died alone. I’m so happy to read that you got to be with your grandma and get closer to her even as she drew closer to hers.
    Thinking of you <3

  2. Hey bro,

    I am so sorry to hear that your grandma has passed away. But like Sheela, I am really happy that you and her became closer as a result of this, and that she got to see you before she left. Take care, and call me if you need to talk.

  3. Dan,

    My condolences… I’m esp sensitive and saddened by the news cos my grandma’s in hospital too and we had a ‘false alarm’ last week where we thought she has in her final moments, so we were kinda going thru the same thing at the same time it seems. It heartbreaking enough even if it was a ‘false alarm’. But, like you, the happy part was how we managed to have nice, funny and sweet conversations to add to our memories. Hope you and family are ok/will be ok soon. Take care!

  4. Sorry to hear dude.. but i’m gladdened to know you cope somehow -)

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